It's just another day...
Have you ever felt completely unhappy? Since I got back to Thailand, I haven't found a true moment of happiness, not once.
Oh no, I'm not totally suffering either...just unhappy. An empty shell.
I don't know if I'll ever find peace in my heart. I don't now if it makes sense, but for me, when work's suck, everything else seems to be falling apart too.
I always feel 'fire' in my heart. It's always burning and makes me restless. I don't feel I belong here. And funny enough, I don't want to belong here either. I can't be like them...it'd be such a waste.
I've changed...to the worse. I'm losing my head and I'm losing my confidence. I know it and it worries me. I'm more quiet and withdraw. I don't seem to have anything interesting to say or happy experience to relate. I don't want to make a conversation. I just don't feel so 'me'.
I wish I could be stronger than what I am now.
Now, I'm like a blind runner, lost in the road of life. How I wish I could find my gaol again, really soon, before I lost it and come undone.
I wish I can find myself again.
People always say that I have a high expectation of life.
Well, what's wrong with that? After all, one only has one chance to live. Why not expect it to be the best and try to make it the best can be?
The meaning of life can't be 'boring' and 'mundane', can it?
At the moment, I just want to be in another place, another time all together.
When will I figure it all out? When will I find the way?
I hope that it's possible for me...to discover the place and time that I can totally belong...soon
|Create Date : 16 พฤศจิกายน 2549
|Last Update : 16 พฤศจิกายน 2549 15:04:48 น.
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