And Im feeling
blue
That special time of the month again! It makes me feel like hell! Totally depress and sad, like the whole bloody world had fell down on my head. All the little things and problems accumulate into one big lump and block my system. I just feel weak and small, might as well evaporate or disappear. Such trivial things can make me tears.
If I could, then I would run away and sleep by the sea for a few days, alone, just to rest my brain for a while. Too many things keep crashing in my head; my head might as well be a snooker table or pinball machine.
What can one do if hatred fills ones lungs? I hate my work; Im annoyed with people; I hate the city and the traffic jam that comes with it. Totally hate to rush in the morning. I hate uncertainty. All in all, I hate being here. Unhappy in general.
Somehow, it doesnt feel like home. Weird, uh? Ive been back for almost 2 years, but still feel that I dont belong. Who else doesnt feel belong in the city they were born?
The phone call didnt make me feel any better. The distance seems bigger; it almost makes me scare, or I already am scared, I dont know. Futures dangling on a rope, and that ropes hanging in the air. Maybe
just maybe it would find the way; a good one with less tears behind it. Or not? Maybe even god doesnt know.
I dont know what I really want to say, just feeling totally blue in general. At least I know that itll (or should) pass in a few days. I know this kind of insecurity that comes once a month quite well by now, but still feel pretty bad all the same. Damn! Its hard being a woman, huh!
Anyway, Im looking forward to going away. My next trips pretty soon, I can almost smell the Mediterranean air and touch turquoise sea. Just hold on one more week. It shouldnt be too hard, should it?
Cant stand myself being like this. I even get annoy with myself moaning now.
Hope that Ill feel better tomorrow.
Create Date : 15 สิงหาคม 2549 |
Last Update : 15 สิงหาคม 2549 21:25:07 น. |
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