This is officially tough time for me. Since the beginning of this year, my mum decided to give my birth date and such (without my knowledge) to person who tells a fortune. I’m not gonna give you a full detail about it, but overall is that it's not really a good year for me. He told me (via my mum) that I have to be very careful. Don't do anything drastic and live modestly. In short, I have to prepare for the worst.
I was kind of skeptical about all that craps. I knew that I shouldn't let it control my everyday life. But hey, no harm in taking a good advise, right? Well, it seem that karma (yeah, must be) took a toll on me lately.
First, it's the job, my dream job. My precious, can-do-it forever kind of job is now consuming me. It’s not a job that makes me feel depressed, but it’s from people around me. I act the same like I used to since day one. But maybe they see me now as an arrogant bastard, who doesn't give a damn about anyone. Well, just because I don't mingle with them, doesn't mean that I’m a stuck up dude, right? So right now I can't even talk with them I like used to. And they’re just ignoring me, which I don't mind at all, but it just made me pretty anguish.
Second is my miserable love life. You see, I’m keep bitching about it for quite sometime now. Well, it just got worst. I tried to stop thinking about it, and pay full attention to the above problem. But I just got myself into a shithole by wanna spend time around her. And because of that, old wound was reopened and it’s bleeding more than ever. Right now, I cannot stop invade into her life (via my mind). Who is she with? Is she thinking about me? Why is that dude talking to her? Yes, I know that when you feel THAT desperate, it ain’t gonna be a fairy tale.
So maybe you guys will think that my problem is not a big deal. Yes, it ain’t big deal all right, but I just couldn’t forgive myself, that I let it took over me on purpose. I am the one who act like moron in the office. I am the one who talk with her and couldn’t stop thinking about things. So I must be the one who suffer, and that just because the case of being me...
And all this rant, maybe it's just my period. Maybe tomorrow morning I will laugh while I'm reading it...