Repentance The only plant we harvest at Seiryou Junior High is Chinese citron. When I went to go pick weeds where all these trees were, the guys made fun of my walking. "What kind of walking is that? You look like a kindergartener." "Haha you seem eager, your feet are bowlegged." They laugh saying every possible thing to make me mad. Of course, I ignored them. If I put up with all this, the water in the ocean would be gone. But it was really hard not to cry. Luckily, I was able to keep the tears from falling... Today something very frustrating happened. During P.E., I changed and went out to the field. The teacher said, "Today we'll be running to the park 1km away. Then we'll practice making basketball passes." My heart thumped. Running,passing...I can't do either. "Kitou what are you gonna do?" I dropped my head low and the teacher continued, "Well, you can have a study hall with O-san." (O-san forgot her P.E. clothes). Hearing this, I immediately hear my classmate's voices. "Aww study hall~ how lucky." I was boiling with anger. "If you want study hall so much, I'll trade places with you. Even if it's only a day, I wanna switch bodies. Then maybe you'll understand the feeling of a person who can't do anything they want to do." Everytime I walk, in every step I take, I can feel my unsteady body, it makes me feel weak, I feel humiliated and miserable not being able to do what everyone else is capable of doing. Is that something you can't understand unless you experience it? Even if you can't feel what that person is feeling, I want you to at least try to think in my point of view. But I think that's hard to do. Even for me, I only first realized this after it happened to me.
Fever I guess I caught a cold. I have a fever, but I feel fine and I have a good appetite. But I don't have any confidence with my body anymore. I want a thermometer (since I broke it). I want to see my health in numbers. I'll ask my dad. Aya gets sick alot. She uses up twice more money than her siblings. When I become an adult, when I become stronger, I'll let you guys live an easier life. I'll take good care of you guys like you took good care of me. When I sleep, I think of lots of things. The things my history teacher talked about. Being made fun of is a good experience for me, because it helps me to become a stronger person. The schoolwork in junior high is easily done, if I study little by little everyday. It's not too late if I start now. I'm gonna try really hard. ...but on the other hand, my bad health makes me really worried. "Don't cry you cry baby" The tough times are when a human is growing. If I can overcome this, a beautiful morning will be waiting for me. The peaceful morning full of light, with birds singing, and the smell of the white rose... I wonder where happiness is. I wonder what happiness is. "Aya are you happy right now?" "Of course not. I'm in the bottomless pit of sadness. It's so hard. Mentally and physically..." The truth is that I'm a step away from becoming weird! Because the crow that was crying is already lauging.
Characteristic I look up to people with strong personality traits, because I myself have nothing special. I'm attracted to the idea of each individuals putting out their own unique characateristics. Maybe even in the world that we live in, our uniqueness and talents are used to make the most out of life, like the movie "007." The world is in need of people with strong character traits. However, characteristics only belong to you, so it's not something you shove and give away to others. But people take things in a different way, so it gets complicated. When I was leaving school, I met Eiko at the bicycle shed. As I held onto "Yamato" and "Last Concert" records, Eiko put my heavy bag inside the bicycle basket. Eiko said she had something to do so we parted at the crosswalk. I really like how Eiko is so straight forward, but other people think she is cold hearted.
Path There was a meeting to talk about what high school to apply to, with my teacher, my mom, and I. 1.ability= I can still go to public school. 2.about my body= Right now it's only my unsteady walking, but we don't know how this situation is going to change, so I have to pick a high school that is close to my house. This school is connected to couple of high schools so I have to write a letter explaining how I won't be able to go to a school far away. 3.I will also apply to a back up school(private school)= my mom and I were only thinking about public school, but my teacher said it will be good to be able to get a feel of applying to different schools, so we decided on that.
Leaving the nest An ant to ant a flower to flower a bird to a bird. Kouji On the back of this magnificent paper it said, "In celebration of Kitou-kun's graduation." Okamoto sen-sei wrote it for you, only for Aya... I was really happy. He's a little scary, but he's a nice teacher who likes flowers. I thanked him with all my heart and smiled with gratitude. My teacher taught me the meaning of this song. "An ant to ant means to be straight forward and clear. It means that there are such things as 'flower' that humans call a flower, 'bird that flies' that humans call a bird." It shook up the soaring blue sky, the tiled roof of the school, and the dark green tree. I didn't understand half of the meaning of the song, but I can tell that my teacher was trying to say "do your best." The feeling of "I'm gonna do it!" stirred up inside me. "What do you think he wrote that with?" "It's probably not with a brush..." My teacher smiled and said, "Actually, I wrote it with a chewed up toothpick, using an inkstone and ink." I was awed at the idea. "Did you notice that there was a ribon so you can hang it up on the wall?" "Yupp!" My teacher smiled and left. I will never forget that I had a wonderful encounter on my graduation day. Please continue to be my mental support.
Special Thanx : Kiwi @ //www.xanga.com/OneLitre for English Translation หมายเหตุ : ลิขสิทธิ์ภาษาอังกฤษเป็นของ Kiwi ผู้แปลนะคะ กรุณาให้เครดิตทุกครั้งหากนำไปโพสต์ที่อื่น Note : English Translation belongs to Kiwi. Please credit her when you take it to post elsewhere.
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