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Diary

How do I know if he's the right one for me? What if I'm just being totally stupid believing this's gonna last. I don't wanna lose him. I want to have him in my life. But what if he's just fooling around. I would never know his true feeling, would I? Even couples who've been together for like.. forever, they might not always know how their couples feel or if they give a damn. I wouldn't be able to take it anymore if things go wrong this time.

I hate what I feel now, it's insecure, it's lack of confidence. It's driving me crazy!! I hate going to work, I hate the way things work in this crazy world. I despise politics!! God, put me out of my misery!

I love being held by the one I love. I love being kissed, honest kisses sweep my feet away! I love to have someone I can talk to just about anything, and not to be afraid of being judged, someone I can completely rely on and I know with my heart that no matter what happens I can count on him with the world.

Someone who's not gonna turn their backs on me even though i might already turned into a crazy bitch!! - or psycho bitch or cut-throat bitch.. whatever you like to call.

I don't know where this's gonna lead me. I don't know if i'm gonna crush anytime soon. I've always dreamt of going away, getting away from this life i'm living.. But God knows i know better. I can't get away from myself, from my thought, from what's inside me. So wherever I go, I'll still be miserable. I just need to figure this out, or change my attitude toward all these shits around me, or slowly die here! My life, my decision.., right? Who can get blamed on this? This is all on me!! What if I'm throwing this so called 'life' away without knowing it. What if what I thought was right is just not so right anymore. Can i change it? I'm not satisfied, I'm not happy with what I have now, but I shouldn't feel this way.. and yet I can't let this voice inside me go, i can't!! I've been trying to but I can't. What if I'm destined to do sth great, sth greater than me..

30-08-2008

Create Date : 21 กันยายน 2551

Last Update : 4 ธันวาคม 2551 0:23:32 น.

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