i'm traumatized . . . . I talked to my therapist about how I have been traumatized basically my whole life. How I never got to experience things the normal way and how I am behind on a lot of things. How I was always in danger and how that has formed me and how that makes me feel about life at the moment. How lost I feel, how tired I feel and how I am done trying. We talked about that very extensively and deeply. More than I ever did to be honest. And at some point the man said to me: I bet you don't even know who you really are. It literally felt like he cut me in half with that sentence. I literally cried my eyes out and after he finally calmed me the fuck down, we ended up talking about my whole identity and how I basically have to start over and how I barely know I even exist. This literally makes me so sad, because after all these years of fighting for my fucking life I still don't have anything. . . . .
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