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A FUNNY FARM

A FUNNY FARM

On a cloudy night a farmer named John made a wish to a comet in the sky. “Oh wishing comet, my jobs be lighter.” Said the farmer. He soon went to sleep. The comet as a football crashed into the windmill at midnight and exploded spitting out many green sparks.
In the morning the farmer woke up and went to milk the cows. But when he got there, he saw a dog crying out, “ Moo, moo!” “Funny, I don’t want dogs’ milk.” Said the farmer.
As he walked back to the house he saw chickens rebuilding the windmill. A horse was digging a hole with a bone in his mouth. The farmer was confused and he went into his house to have dinner. He then drove his truck to the field and saw a duck harvesting the crops. “What is going on in my farm?” he asked himself.
He soon saw the cow wearing a hat and he followed it. It went to the barn and milked the
dog. He looked out of the barn and saw a pig driving a truck full of produce out of the farm to sell in the town. “Hey, now I don’t have to do anything. I better just enjoy myself.” Soon he was sitting under an umbrella by the lake drinking lemonade. Suddenly all the animals gathered in front of him and some of them had guns. “What’s wrong?” asked the farmer. “We can do all the work, we don’t need you anymore.” Said one of the chickens. Farmer John quickly ran into the barn and the animals shot their guns many times. Finally, the animals rammed the door and broke in. The farmer suddenly farted and all the animals fainted. After 10 seconds the animals woke up being themselves again, and every thing went back to normal.




 

Create Date : 12 เมษายน 2548    
Last Update : 12 เมษายน 2548 8:11:03 น.
Counter : 297 Pageviews.  

อาชีพที่ฉันใฝ่ฝัน

ตั้งแต่ผมเกิดมาและมีความนึกคิด ผมก็เคยคิดหลายครั้งว่า เมื่อผมเติบโตเป็นผู้ใหญ่ ผมจะอยากทำอะไรเพื่อให้ชีวิตของผมมีคุณค่า ความคิดและความฝันของผมก็เปลื่ยนแปลงไปตามประสบการณ์ของผมและสิ่งต่างๆที่เกิดขึ้นในชีวิตของผม บางครั้งผมก็ดูตัวเองแล้วถามตัวเองว่า ผมเป็นใคร แล้วก็ถามอีกว่า ผมเป็นอย่างไร แล้วผมก็รู้ว่าวันหนึ่งผมอยากจะเป็นนักเขียน
หลายปีมาแล้ว ผมก็อยากที่จะทำอาชีพต่างๆหลายอย่างตามสิ่งต่างๆที่ผมเห็นและชอบ แต่เพิ่งไม่กี่ปีมานี้เอง เมื่อผมได้เชียนเรียงความเล็กๆน้อยๆ ผมก็รู้สึกสนุกสนานเมื่อผมเขียนเรื่องนั้นอยู่ เพราะผมได้เอาสิ่งดีๆที่ผมคิดอยู่มาทำให้เรื่องนั้นน่าสนใจมากขึ้น หลังจากนั้นมาในปีนั้นผมก็นั่งอยู่ในห้องเรียนเกือบทุกวันขณะพักเที่ยงเพื่อเขียนเรื่องเหล่านี้ แม้แต่ว่าเรื่องต่างๆที่ผมเขียนจะไม่ดีมากนัก แต่ผมก็มีความสุขเมื่อผมแต่งเรื่องพวกนี้
ผ่านไปอีกหนึ่งปี แม้แต่ว่าผมจะไม่อยู่ในห้องเรียนเขียนเรื่องขณะพักเที่ยงอีกแล้ว ผมก็ยังแต่งเรื่องอยู่และผมก็ยังอยากเป็นนักเขียนอยู่เหมือนเดิม ผมอยากเป็นนักเขียนมานานมากแล้วเพราะว่าผมอยากจะใช้จินตนาการให้เต็มที่โดยไม่มีขีดจำกัด นอกจากนั้นการแต่งเรื่องต่างๆก็ทำให้ผมรู้สึกเป็นอิสระมากขึ้นและช่วยผมคลายเครียดได้อีกด้วย
ผมคิดว่ากำไรและสิ่งอื่นๆที่ได้จากอาชีพที่ทำไม่สำคัญเท่ากับว่าตัวเองรักอาชีพนั้นๆ เมื่อผมดูตัวเองแล้วผมก็รู้ว่าผมอยากจะเป็นนักเขียน เพราะว่าผมชอบนำความคิดต่างๆมาผูกพันกันให้เป็นเรื่องราวที่น่าสนใจและมีคุณค่าหลากหลาย แต่ชีวิตของแต่ละคนนั้นเปลี่ยนแปลงไม่เรื่อยๆ เพราะฉะนั้นวันหนึ่งผมอาจจะทำอาชีพอื่นก็ได้




 

Create Date : 12 เมษายน 2548    
Last Update : 12 เมษายน 2548 7:35:47 น.
Counter : 5302 Pageviews.  

SEA QUEST - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Outside, the dining shack looked like a local shack which villagers in the area store fishing equipment and boats. It was painted white only to keep the rain from seeping in. But inside, there were three beautiful sturdy hand-crafted tables that can accommodate all the forty people who were at the site.
As Brian followed Sir Francis into the shack, the difference between the inside and the outside was clearly visible. Inside, the walls were well decorated with paintings, and spectacular wallpaper.
As they all sat down, Brian met someone who he did not expect. It was his professor from college, Sarah Duncan. She was a forty-year old playful British teacher who taught him the many mysteries of archeology. At first he didn’t recognize her last name, but now it was clear.
“Brian, this is Sarah Duncan, my daughter.” Sir Francis said.
“Professor?”
“Yes Brian, it’s me. A nice thing you decided to come here.” She answered.
“Very nice to meet you too,” Brian responded
“I actually remembered you, you were the student that tested ancient Egyptian mummification techniques with cats. You also experimented to see if the geometry of a pyramid actually prevents the bodies from decomposing. It failed and the whole left wing of the historical studies building had to be evacuated due to the smell.”
“That wasn’t me.” Brian lied.
“Of course it was you; I was lecturing about tools the ancients used for surgery when you tried the experiment. Your friend recorded the whole ritual and the school news paper took 27 pictures as you came out of the university’s special experiments lab.”
“Let’s settle down to dinner, I guess.” Said Brian, trying to change subject.
Brian hadn’t eaten anything all day and the meal that was already delicious tasted even better on an empty stomach. It was like an exquisite restaurant, only without the waiters. It was a three-course meal with Salad, Spaghetti, and Gelatin for dessert. After Brian was full Sir Francis called him.
“Brian, follow me. The discovery is in my tent.”
He led Brian to a large green tent next to the excavation site. The inside was well lit and Brian could see a glass cabinet at the back of the room that stands out from the furniture. As he walked closer it was clear there was a piece of paper inside the cabinet.
“Help yourself,” said Sir Francis with a smile.
It was clear after a while that the object Brian was looking at was a map. A map hundreds of years old.
“Is it?” Brian thought. “Yes”, he replied to himself, “what else could it be?”
“Piri Reis map,” he spoke quietly.
“That’s correct, Mr. Right.”
“But I don’t understand, I thought when this map was discovered a hundred years ago there was only half the map.”
“Brian, we carbon dated the map. It’s older than the one they discovered which means what they have is a copy, this is the original.” said Sir Francis.
Brian was very impressed. To many archeologists and historians what he was holding in his hands was the second best artifact to the Holy Grail.
In 1929 historians working at the Topkapi Palace in Istanbul found a map in a pile of rubble. It was drawn by the Turkish admiral Piri Ibn Haji Mehmed who lived in about the same period as Christopher Columbus around 500 years ago. The first map discovered in Istanbul, when examined archeologists points out that it clearly shows Europe, Africa, North and South America and the tip of Greenland. But the most astounding thing is that the map also shows Antarctica, a continent not discovered until 200 years later. The admiral claimed to have drawn the Piri Reis map from various sources including Christopher Columbus and ancient Greek maps.
Like other maps in those days, it had circles radiating from each port which help in navigating from one port to another. Despite without having the longitude and latitude like a modern map, the map was remarkably accurate, except for North America which Columbus mistakenly thought was Japan and China. It includes rivers in South America that most explorers did not notice. In Antarctica, the map recorded rivers and geographical characteristics even the US military geographers said to be clearly impossible without using seismological mapping technology due to ice caps around the continent. In some areas, the map was so accurate that it even corrected the modern maps. Apparently the original map’s navigational lines could indicate that it was only half the map. And this map clearly showed itself as being torn apart.



Note: a) Time line of the discoveries. Antarctica discovered in 1820
b) The first Piri Reis map discovered in Istanbul; historically dated to 1513, half of what should be


And now Brian could glance at the remarkable pictures of Asia, Japan, India and even parts of Indonesia.
“This is simply remarkable,” Brian said, gasping in awe.
“I was excited too when we discovered the map.”
“But I still don’t get why you would go through such lengths for the map.” Brian looked at Sir Francis curiously.
“We discovered more in that tomb than just a map Mr. Right.” He said pointing to the polished ceramics at the corner of the tent.
“Don’t tell me those pots are from china.”
“We also carbon dated that, it was made in 1419. It was transported on a ship and of course when it came into contact with sea water there was a chemical reaction, which further dated it to 1421.” Sir Francis spoke with a calm voice.
Brian was shocked to realize and it took a while to say the undeniable, “You’re about to say that this discovery confirms that the Imperial Fleet from China really sailed the oceans and discovered the new world?”
It had been suggested by theorists before that the Americas could have been discovered by the Chinese Imperial Fleet. The fleet was commanded by the Arab Zhong Hur and other skilled Arab navigators who settled in China. Although history recorded that in the seven expeditions the fleet only reached Eastern Africa and Arabia, it included more than 200 ships. Six of those ships dwarfed the ships Columbus used three times. The fleet would have had no problem crossing the Atlantic.
“Well, in Europe at the time no one had a clue about how to make a Chinese vase.”
“And you’re telling me that the Chinese discovered America 75 years before Columbus.”
“Yes!”
With the excitement Brian paused for a minute to think whether all this is even possible.
“Wait, if this is a Chinese vase, what the hell is it doing in a tomb of a Portuguese captain with a map belonging to a Turkish admiral?” asked Brian.
“I should have explained this to you before to prevent confusion. This is a tomb of a Portuguese captain who we simply name Alios 1. He died from a serious fever when trying to round Cape Horn in a cold winter like this one now. He was a friend of Piri Reis after meeting the admiral in a trade station, or at least that’s what his log says. Thus he was given a map as a gift for exploring South America.” Sir Francis explained.
“But where did the ceramics come from?”
“Our best guess is that when the Chinese came eighty years earlier they traded with the Native Americans. And when the Portuguese came they traded for the vase. His first mate probably liked him so much that he was buried with a few parting gifts next to his coffin.”
“That’s almost an unbelievable story,” said Brian.
“I know,” Sir Francis answered,” but at least we have proven that the artifacts are real.”
Brian sat down on a wooden chair to calm down from all the confusing excitement.
“There is one other thing I haven’t shown you. And I bet to god it will mean a hell lot to you.” Sir Francis muffled with the sound of excitement in his voice.




 

Create Date : 10 เมษายน 2548    
Last Update : 12 พฤษภาคม 2548 3:37:38 น.
Counter : 297 Pageviews.  

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YONG AN
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