Writing Guide: Excerpt from Strunk and White's The Elements of Style (part II)
Elementary Principles of Composition
12. Choose a suitable design and hold to it.
In most cases planning must be a deliberate prelude to writing. Determine the basic structural shape of the essay and pursue that shape.
13. Make the paragraph the unit of composition
The paragraph is the essential unit of thought in writing. Although it may consist of a single sentence, it is usually a group of sentences that develop one main point or controlling idea.
The reader expects a paragraph to be coherent (with its organization following a definite plan), developed (with its sentences adequately explaining or qualifying the main point), and unified (with all its sentences relevant to the main point).
After the paragraph has been written, examine it to see whether division will improve it.
As a rule, begin each paragraph either with a sentence that suggests the topic or with a sentence that helps the transition.
14. Use the active voice.
The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive:
I shall always remeber my first visit to Boston.
This is much better than
My first visit to Boston will always be remembered by me.
If the writer tries to make it more concise by omitting "by me"
My first visit to Boston will always be remembered.
It becomes indefinite: is it the writer or some undisclosed person or the world at large that will always remeber this visit?
This rule does not mean that the writer should entirely discard that passive voice, which is frequently convenient and sometimes necessary.
The dramatists of the Restoration are little esteemed today.
Modern readers have little esteem for the dramatists of the Restoration.
The first would be the prefered form in a paragraph on the dramatists of the Restoration, the second in a paragraph on the tastes of modern readers. The need to make a particular word the subject of the sentence will often, as in these examples, determine which voice is to be used.
Many tame sentence of description or exposition can be made lively and emphatic by substituting a transitive in the active voice for some such perfunctory expression as there is or could be heard.
[There are a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground.]
Dead leaves covers the ground.
[At dawn the crowing of a rooster could be heard.]
The cock's crow came with dawn.
[The reason he left college was that his health became impaired.]
Failing health compelled him to leave college.
[It was not long before she was very sorry that she has said what she had.]
She soon repented her words.
15. Put statements in positive form
Make definite assertion. Avoid tame, colorless, hesitating, noncommittal language.
[He was not very often on time.]
He usually came late.
[She did not think that studying Latin was a sensible way to use one's time]
She thought the study of Latin a waste of time.
[The Taming of the Shrew is rather weak in spots. Shakespeare does not portray katharine as a very admirable character, nor does Brianca remain long in memory as an important character in Shakespeare's works.]
The women in The Taming of the Shrew are unattractive. Katharine is disagreeable, Brianca insignificant.
It is better to express even a negative in positive form.
not honest : dishonest
not important : trifling
did not remember : forgot
did not pay attention to : ignore
did not have much confidence in : distrusted
Placing negative and positive in opposition makes for a stronger structure.
Not charity, but simple justice.
Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.
Ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country.
Negative words other than not are usually strong.
Her loveliness I never knew / Until she smiled on me.
Statements qualified with unnecessary auxiliaries or conditionals sound irresolute.
[If you would let us know the time of your arrival, we would be happy to arrange your transportation from the airport.]
If you will let us know the time of your arrival, we shall be happy to arrange your transportation from the airport.
[Applicants can make a good impression by being neat and punctual.]
Applicants will make a good impression if they are neat and punctual.
[Plath may be ranked among those modern poets who died young.]
Plath was one of those modern poets who died young.
If your every sentence admits a doubt, your writing will lack authority. Save the auxiliaries would, should, could, may, might, and can for situation involving real uncertainty.
16. Use definite, specific, concrete language.
Prefer the specific to the general, the definite to the vague, the concrete to the abstract.
[A period of unfavorable weather set in.]
It rained every day for a week.
[He showed satisfaction as he took possession of his well-earned reward.]
He grinned as he pocketed the coin.
It is not that every detail is given--that would be impossible, as well as to no purpose--but that all the significant details are given, and with such accuracy and vigor that readers, in imagination, can project themselves into the scene.
In exposition and in argument, the writer must likewise never lose hold of the concrete; and even when dealing with general principles, the writer must furnish particular instances of their application.
[In proportion as the manners, customs, and amusements of a nation are cruel and barbarous, the regulations of its penal code will be severe.]
In proportion as men delight in battles, bullfightings, and combats of gladiators, will they punish by hanging, burning, and the rack."
17. Omit needless words.
Vigorous writing is concise.
[the question as to whether]
whether
the question whether
[there is no doubt but that]
no doubt
doubtless
[used for fuel purpose]
used for fuel
[he is a man who]
he
[in a hasty manner]
hastily
[this is a subject that]
this subject
[Her story is a strange one.]
Her story is strange.
[The reason why is that]
because
"The fact that" is an especially debilitating expression. It should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs.
[owing to the fact that]
since
because
[in spite of the fact that]
though
although
[call your attention to the fact that]
remind you
notify you
[I was unaware of the fact that]
I was unaware that
I did not know
[the fact that he had not succeeded]
his failure
[the fact that I had arrived]
my arrival
A common way to fall into wordiness is to present a single complex idea, step by step, in a series of sentences that might to advantage be combined into one.
[Macbeth was very ambitious. This led him to wish to become king of Scotland. The witches told him that this wish of his would come true. The king of Scotland at this time was Duncan. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered Duncan. He was thus enabled to succeed Duncan as king.]
Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved his ambition and realized he prediction of the witches by murdering Duncan and becoming king of Scotland in his place.
18. Avoid a succession of loose sentences.
This rule refers especially to loose sentences of a particular type: those consisting of two clauses, the second introduced by a conjunction or relative.
A writer who has written a series of loose sentences should recast enough of them to remove the monotony, replacing them with simple sentences, sentences of two clauses joined by a semicolon, periodic sentences of two clauses, or sentences (loose or periodic) of three clauses--whichever best represent the real relations of the thought.
19. Express coordinate ideas in similar form.
This principle, that of parallel construction, requires that expressions similar in content and function be outwardly similar.
[Formerly, science was taught by the textbook method, while now the laboratory method is employed.]
Formerly, science was taught by the textbook method; now it is taught by the laboratory method.
Some words require a particular preposition in certain idiomatic uses. When such words are joined in a compound construction, all the appropriate prepositions must be included, unless they are the same.
[His speech was marked by disagreement and scorn for his opponent's position.]
His speech was marked by disagreement with and scorn for his opponent's position.
Correlative expressions (both, and; not, but; not only, but also; or; first, second, first; and the like) should be followed by the same grammatical construction. Many violations of this rule can be corrected by rearranging the sentence.
[It was both a long ceremony and very tedious.]
The ceremony was both long and tedious.
[A time not for words but action.]
A time not for words but for action.
[Either you must grant his request or incur his ill will.]
You must either grant his request or incur his ill will.
[My objections are, first, the injustice of the measure; second, that it is unconstitutional.]
My objections are, first, that the measure is unjust; second, that it is unconstitutional.
20. Keep related words together.
The position of the words in a sentence is the principal means of showing their relationship. Confusion and ambiguity result when words are badly placed.
the writer must, therefore, bring together the words and groups of words that are related in thought and keep apart those that are not so related.
[He noticed a large stain in the rug that was right in the center.]
He noticed a large stain right in center of the rug.
[You can call your mother in London and tell her all about George's taking you out to dinner for just two dollors.]
For just two dollars you can call your mother in London and tell her all about George's taking you out to dinner.
The subject of a sentence and the principal verb should not, as a rule, be separated by a phrase or clause that can be transferred to the beginning.
[Toni Morrison, in Beloved, writes about characters who have escaped from slavery but are haunted by its heritage.]
In Beloved, Toni Morrison writes about characters who have escaped from slavery but are haunted by its heritage.
[A dog, if you fail to dissipline him, becomes a household pest.]
Unless disciplined, a dog becomes a household pest.
The relative pronoun should come, in most instances, immediately after its antecedent.
[There was a stir in the audience that suggested disapproval.]
A stir that suggested disapproval swept the audience.
[He wrote three articles about his adventures in Spain, which were published in Harper's Magazine.]
He published three articles in Harper's Magazine about his adventures in Spain.
[This is a portrait of Benjamin Harrison, who became President in 1889. He was the grandson of William Henry Harrison.]
This is a portrait of Benjamin Harrison, grandson of William Henry Harrison, who became President in 1889.
If the antecedent consists of a group of words, the relative comes at the end of the group, unless this would cause ambiguity.
The Superintendent of the Chicago division, who ... (No ambiguity)
[A proposal to amend the Sherman Act, which has been variously judged ... ] (ambiguity)
A proposal, which has been variously judged, to amend the Sherman Act ...
[The grandson of William Henry Harrison, who ]
William Henry Harrison's grandson, Benjamin Harrison, who
A noun in apposition may come between antecedent and relative, because in such a combination no real ambiguity can arise.
The Duke of York, his brother, who was regarded with hostility by the Whigs.
Modifiers should come, if possible, next to the words they modify. If several expressions modify the same word, they should be arranged so that no wrong relation is suggested.
[All the members were not present.]
Not all the members were present.
[She only found two mistakes.]
She found only two mistakes.
[The director said he hoped all members would give generously to the Fund at a meeting of the committee yesterday.]
At a meeting of the committee yesterday, the director said he hoped all members would give generously to the Fund.
[Major R. E. Joyce will give a lecture on Tuesday evening in Bailey Hall, to which the public is invited on "My Experiences in Mesopotamia" at 8pm.]
On Tuesday evening at eight, Major R.E. Joyce will give a lecture in Bailey Hall on "My Experiences in Mesopotamia." The public is invited.
21. In summaries, keep to one tense.
In summarizing the action of a drama, use the present tense. In summarizing a poem, story, or novel, also use that present, though you may use the past if it seems more natural to do so.
If the summary is in the present tense, antecedent action should be expressed by the perfect; if in the past, by the past perfect.
Chance prevents Friar John from delivering Friar Lawrence's letter to Romeo. Meanwhile, owing to her father's arbitrary change of the day set for her wedding, Juliet has been compelled to drink the potion on Tuesday night ...
But whichever tense is used in the summary, a past tense in indirect discourse or in indirect question remains unchanged.
The Friar confesses that it was he who married them.
In presenting the statements or the thought of someone else, as in summarizing an essay or reporting a speech, do not overwork such expressions as "he said," "she stated," "the speaker added," "the speaker then went on to say,"the author also thinks." Indicate clearly at the outset, once for all, that what follows is summary, and then waste no words in repeating the notification.
22. Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end.
The proper place in the sentence for the word or group of words that the writer desires to make most prominent is usually the end.
[Humanity has hardly advanced in fortitude since that time, though it has advanced in many other ways.]
Since that time, humanity has advanced in many ways, but it has hardly advanced in fortitude.
[This stell is principally used for making razors, because of its hardness.]
Because of its hardness, this steel is used principally for making razor.
The other prominent position in the sentence is the beginning. Any element in the sentence other than the subject becomes emphatic when placed first.
Deceit or treachery she could never forgive.
A subject coming first in its sentence may be emphatic, but hardly by its position alone.
In the sentence Great kings worshiped at his shrine.
the emphasis upon "kings" arises largely from its meaning and from the context.
To receive special emphasis, the subject of a sentence must take the position of the predicate.
Through the middle of the valley flowed a winding stream.
The principle that the proper place for what is to be made most prominent is the end applies equally to the paragraphs of a composition.
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