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My Recent Doubtful Passion Every once in a while, I always have this thought. I was thinking that if I wasn't so passionate about biological sciences, I would go for painting, drawing, photography, computer graphic, programmer, social studies, anthropology, singing, music composing, novel writing, poetry, and a barista or even business. Sometimes, I feel like I let my science passion blind me and ignore every other possibilities or opportunities in life because I always thought those weren't me. I always thought I should focus on and do what I love. I always thought I would never do what wasn't me or even get myself involved in it because it was wasting time to pursue my right path. I am so in loved with science that I cannot take my eye away from it. It's like every single molecule of air I breath is made of science. Yes, it is that important to me. It is everything that I want to live my life with and die for it. I am doing everything I can to achieve this goal, to be a scientist. Science is like my best friend. I had confidence and no doubt about what I chose, for 12 years. It was from primary school through high school time. I was so sure that I have chosen the best thing for me ever. I was so sure that I will always be happy about this and never feel regret or disappointed. Until I got into college, things started to change. Many obstacles and difficulties happened during the time I was pursuing my path. It made me have so many doubts and questions that I never had before in my 22 years of life. College introduced so many new kinds of non-science knowledge to me. I was exposed to fund and interesting knowledge I never care about or even look at before. It was so eye-opening. I was like "Darn! where the hell have I been? why didn't I know all of these things before if they were such interesting. Why didn't I even give a damn about these before? What a stupid person I am?" Yes, it was true. Those thoughts suddenly happened to me when I had a chance to study other non-science classes. Am I in self-denial right now? No, I don't think so. Oh, I don't know, actually, may be, may be not. I was very confusing at the time. I know studying science can be frustrating and stressful. It was so difficult to learn a lot of scientific materials. It was intense. I know no one dies in college unless they have accidents, but no one ever tell me that it's gonna be this horribly difficult time. I asked myself "would I be happier if I didn't study science and just went for other paths?" Would it make any difference? It was one of those tough times that I believe everyone has in their lives, not just only me. Either ways I choose, I think one of those questions might still happen to me. So I think I will just be happy with what I am and with what I have right now though my subconscious mind might long for those changes. I don't know. What I know is I will do my best and see what happens. After all of those complains, I'm still in love with science. And I believe all of obstacles and difficulties are worth going through. I hope all my effort pay off in the end and show me what I deserve.
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