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In summary, Esquire is at the 1977 Elvis stage of life. I look back on the old issues
Esquire Description Esquire is the original and leading men's lifestyle magazine. Esquire's award winning editorial covers everything a man needs to know each month including the latest on style and clothes, what's new in cars, culture and entertainment and advice on money matters. Who Reads Esquire? Esquire is a magazine for affluent and successful men. It is a magazine geared toward men who dress themselves, have the means and knowledge to invest, can order at a fine restaurant, have a healthy respect and admiration for women, enjoy enriching vacations, and have mastered life's basics. What You Can Expect in Each Issue: Esquire surveys the landscape to unearth the smart edge of the culture: the people, places, things and trends that intelligent, sophisticated men want, need, and ought to know. Style
: Seasonal menswear forecasts identify the best options for men covering the gamut of menswear, furnishings, and accessories for the spring season. Women
: Everything you want to know about women is answered by Esquires esteemed group of editors and resident experts. Trends
: Focused on the stylish options and Esquires editors guide readers through all the best the seasons have to offer. Women We Love
: Esquires most enduring franchise and a celebration of mans favorite vice, saluting women whose beauty extends far beyond the physical, revealing Esquires pick of the Sexiest Woman Alive. People
: Esquire celebrates and identifies the next generation of cultural influencers destined to impact our lives and shape the destiny of our countries national dialogue. Feature Articles
: In each issue of Esquire, the talented editorial bring you the latest on style and clothes, what's new in cars, culture and entertainment and advice on money matters. You will find monthly features such as Esquire's Man at His Best, Style Tips, Ten Things You Don't Know about Women, Answer Fella, Funny Joke from a Beautiful Woman, What I've Learned, and Women We Love. Magazine Layout: Esquire's design is witty and clean. Articles are displayed in easy to follow formats and feature vibrant images that detail items featured in the magazine. Contributors: Esquire's contributors are some of the most world renowned journalists, TV personalities, musicians, authors and military strategists in the world, including Ted Allen, George Foreman, and Thomas P. M. Barnett. Past Issues: Comparisons to Other Magazines: Esquire is a magazine that resonates with the modern man. It is a magazine that speaks to the multi-faceted, successful man, who is culturally in tune. The unique blend of intelligent service, stories, and ability to entertain and inspire makes it a must-read for tastemakers and influencers alike. Advertising: Esquire has a wide variety of advertisers, from fashion to accessories and cars to spirits, and everything in between. Awards: In 2007, Esquire won a National Magazine Award in the reporting category. Since editor-in-chief, David Granger, took over in 1997, Esquire has been nominated for 41 National Magazine Awards, with 10 wins.
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The cover on my last issue featured Sofia Vergara in Agent Provocateur's black lingerie - and I still didn't bother to renew my subscription. It was too little, too late for a magazine that initially drew my interest as I smarter alternative to Maxim and a more coffee-table friendly alternative to Playboy. Alas, after a one-year subscription, Esquire failed to capture me.
I purchased my Esquire subscription with the same expectations I had for GQ, magazines known more for their abundant advertisements and cologne samples than for an unique, interesting take on men's interests. Esquire pushes well beyond my limits. The April 2012 edition (my last) makes a perfect example. The table of contents appears on page 25; advertisements packed between it and the cover:
Bvlgari
Giorgio Armani
Ermenegildo Zegna
Dolce & Gabbana
Calvin Klein
Woodford Reserve
Lincs DC & Co
Newport Beach Film Festival
Hugo Boss
Luminox
Moontower Comedy & Oddity Fest
Buick
That's 24 pages of advertisements before you reach the first editorial copy. And if you think that's an unfair representation, let me share that the next 20 pages includes ads for JC Penny, Tommy Hilfiger, Triumph, Canali, Salvatore Ferragamo, Ford, Breitling, Hickey Freeman, Gucci and Citibank. Within the next 20 pages, there are two more pages thinly spread with a table of contents, a staff listing, and only four pages of content, one of which carries the staff listing jump.
So, in the first 45 pages of Esquire, there are less than four pages of actual content.
Only one article, "Miracle" by Craig Davidson, was of the quality that I'd come to expect from Esquire. The nine-page piece (two pages serve as bloated title art) explores the medical advancements of synthetic hormones to delay age-related conditions.
The Sofia Vergara cover garners two thumbs up from me. However, only three more pictures of her appear in the magazine. Three! That's reason enough to fire an editor, maybe a couple. I can only take so many pictures of shaggy, bearded, brooding men hawking shoes, watches and cologne. If you are going to put Sofia Vergara on the cover, at least have the decency to treat your readers to a longer layout, at least a half dozen pages.
What's left is a choppy, increasingly juvenile collection of short articles and humor that illustrates how much Maxim and the other Laddies infected the entire men's magazine industry. The April 2012 edition included these one-page, puddle skippers:
Levi's made and crafted
Mad Men's fifth season
New books by Stephen King and John Grisham
How picky are sperm banks?
Keyboard shortcuts we need
In summary, Esquire is at the 1977 Elvis stage of life. I look back on the old issues with the same fondness I once held for Men's Health, Playboy and GQ. For a magazine approaching its 80th anniversary, Esquire needs some of those synthetic hormones to ward off its bloated visage and marked decline in quality features. Someone forgot being entertaining and smart are not mutually exclusive. Simply, today's Esquire is shallow and Maxim-esque.
Rating: Two stars.
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