in Bangkok with love

Sheriff W
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กรุงเทพฯ Thailand

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This is the diary of 01/27/2015 First, I have to inform you that I am not a good writer and my life is boring, it is boring as fuck. The purpose of writing diary is to improve my writing skill obviously. I hope I will find my way through this. Another thing I must say is that you do not have to take my opinion because it is rough, rude, and absurd.

Well, today is completely a twist. I woke up with my typical thought of living but went to bed with completely different attitude. I used to think that I will not continue to master's degree because it is a waste of time. I was so clear about myself that I wanted to be a flight attendant. It is still clear though but I start to think that I can do something with the master's if I win the scholarship. I really like U.S. Actually, I like any places that are not here. The reason behind my uncertainty is that I have poor health condition. I am not sure if I can work under the vary schedule. However, all come down to why I want to write this. In the future, if I am better at English and come back to this, I may laugh at myself and wonder if what the hell I wrote. One last thing, undoubtedly, I am going to write about that one a lot. A WHOLE LOT.

I am starting to scare of how bland I am. I have no one to see. Actually, there is a difference between you have nobody to see or you DON'T want to see. I actually don't want to see others. I already have that one in my mind. Always have and always will. It has been five or almost six years that I broke up with him. It was my fault. I was the one who asked for the break up. I have never thought that I would be sorry for whole five years later. I miss him more than I thought, more than I should, more than anything. I am spending all these years feeling sorry and keep telling him so. I am paying all my time to figure out that there is no one that is better than him, no combination that is better than us. I can't count how much I have lost. I really don't want to miss a thing but I already miss the entire five years without us. I miss everything. I lost him. He never answer my phone call.

I don't know if I am still here because I hope one day he will come back or because deep down I know but there is no one else like him.

I went to Silom Complex to teach English. Then I went back to Siam to catch the bus. While I was waiting for the bus I started to think about him. Think about how great it will be if I still have him. The bright light from the shops at Siam Centre was not bringing me up from the memory at all. We used to be here once. We took the bus 73ก. from Wisutthani that day but I couldn't remember how we got back home. It is strange. I always wanted to come to Siam. I think it is a charming place regardless to the crowd and the traffic. It is the centre of trends, meetings, all of those urban stuff. This idea is always stuck in my mind until now. I do love the place. That is why I am always seeking for the opportunity to come to the place. I wish I can be there with him more. I wish I didn't let him go.

I love you. I always do.

P.S. There is one kid that looks almost like him, his name is almost like him. I was so shocked. I will write about this later.


Create Date : 28 มกราคม 2558    
Last Update : 28 มกราคม 2558 1:20:44 น.
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