My Only Love Sprung From My Only Hate


Love or Something Far From It ...

Friendship is interesting. it evokes these feelings in you. almost like love. one minute you cant possible imagine a world without your friends. and some moments you feel as though you can do without them. every single one of them at one point or another. the darker feelings might come from a moment or irrationality. caused by some emotional trigger. but more often than not, you cross your fingers and hope that the moments will past. and hope that youll remember the better times. the good times. much like love.

i have a bad tendency to overpraise. to give this false sense of security to people. i will say things to give them a false sense of self assurance not intentionally. but to let them know hey, its okay to be the way you are it IS okay to be the way you are. i dont mind. i forget to add the finer print hey, its okay to be the way you are your consumer driven lifeless soul and herd instincts will allow you to fit in with the mass comfortably. or whatever applies to the individual. but its okay. it doesnt bother me. i welcome difference.
i wonder if i am indeed highly judgemental. i think i am. we all are to an extent. we all have our opinions. and if being non judgemental is not having opinions, then i am not that. i have an excellent command of control over my vocalizations of my judgements. whether i say it outloud or not. most of the time, they will be voiced in jest. jest or no jest. its voiced. and i must be responsible for the repurcussions. and then there are times when i think of the old adage if you have nothing nice to say, dont say it. i wonder if that makes me spineless.

i have a friend. weve been friends for a long time. and it makes me question what sort of relationship it is that we have. is it even friendship? does it make me bitter that i remember that one assholic event in 1995? its been over ten years. do i need to get over it? i also have another friend. unapologetic. uncomprimising. in every wrong way. not in the i admire you for standing your ground. way. but in that way that makes me question why i even bother to stand with the person. why i should go out of my way to ever do anything again.

in my defense. i have gotten over it. i was never mad. nor was i angry. and its no cry for appreciation or thank you cards. its dissapointment. because its a lack of courtesy from one human being to another. it would be different if we were strangers. i would not be dissapointed. like i said. there are such things as manners. but when it continually happens. the lack of consideration. what would a stranger do? move on. what would a friend do? overlook the continuous lack of consideration and always be unconditional? if so, then fuck being a good friend. i cant take that shit.

we all have our faults, no?

i was given a delightful quote-on-a-cutout-card:

attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed.

- john tarrant


Create Date : 07 չҤ 2549    
Last Update : 7 չҤ 2549 19:22:12 .
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Create Date : 25 Ҿѹ 2549    
Last Update : 25 Ҿѹ 2549 23:53:59 .
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As like most people, hate doing this.. I guess I am a friendly chap on for a bit of a chat / laugh / possible bit of fun. I am an easy going and sociable guy who takes life as it comes - I tend to like similar people who are just `nice`. I like a drink or ten at the weekends:0) not that i am an alco or owt! Love collecting DVD`s and even watching them on the odd occasion! also into music in a big way - cheesy pop and hard house dance are almost always winners. Would be good to make new mates to have a bit of banter with, so if you are sociable - feel free to say hello!
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