Bloggang.com : snodgrass : เก็บตก Oscar 2007 ตอนที่ 3 - A Comedian at the Oscars is the Saddest,, Bitterest, Alcoholic Clown...

เก็บตก Oscar 2007 ตอนที่ 3 - A Comedian at the Oscars is the Saddest,, Bitterest, Alcoholic Clown...

นักเต้นรำร่วมสมัย 12 คน จากคณะ Pilobolus ต่อตัวเป็นรูปคุณลุงออสการ์

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ผู้บรรยาย (announcers) - Don LaFontaine และ Gina Tuttle

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Will Ferrell ร้องเพลงประชดชีวิตนักแสดงตลกที่ออสการ์มักไม่ค่อยเห็นความสำคัญ (Marc Shaiman บรรเลงเปียโน) Credit: เนื้อร้องทั้งหมดได้จาก BWW Exclusive: A Comedian At The Oscars Demo Recording (มีฉบับ Demo ให้ฟังด้วย)

“A COMEDIAN AT THE OSCARS”
Music by Marc Shaiman Lyrics by Judd Apatow, Adam McKay and Marc Shaiman

Will Ferrell is discovered onstage at a piano, forlorn and mopey.

WILL
A COMEDIAN AT THE OSCARS
THE SADDEST MAN OF ALL
YOUR MOVIES MAY MAKE MILLIONS
BUT YOUR NAME THEY'LL NEVER CALL
I GUESS YOU DON'T LIKE LAUGHTER
AND A SMILE BRINGS YOU DOWN
A COMEDIAN AT THE OSCARS
IS THE SADDEST, BITTEREST, ALCOHOLIC CLOWN

Suddenly, Jack Black emerges from the wings.

WILL (cont’d)“Jack Black!”

JACKWHAT DID YOU THINK?
WHEN YOU TOOK OFF YOUR PANTS?
AND YOU RAN AROUND THAT RACETRACK
AND YOU DID THAT SILLY DANCE?
WHAT DID YOU THINK?

WILL
I THOUGHT THEY'D LOVE ME

JACK
WHAT DID YOU THINK?
THAT YOU COULD CHANGE THEIR WICKED GAME?
DID YOU THINK WHEN YOU MADE “ANCHORMAN”
THEY WOULDN'T CALL IT LAME?

WILL
I THOUGHT I'D GET TO HAVE DINNER WITH JEREMY IRONS

JACK
WE MAY NOT WIN TONIGHT
BUT WE SHALL WIN THE ULTIMATE FIGHT
AND I DON'T MEAN THAT AS A METAPHOR,
I MEAN LITERALLY I AM GONNA FIGHT ALL THE NOMINESS

WILL
“That didn't rhyme”

JACK
“Forget it! Leo, you think you can date hot models and win awards? Well I’m gonna elbow you in the larynx.”

WILL“RYANN GOSSLING you're all hip and now well I’m gonna break your hip right now!”

JACK
“PETER O'TOOLE, all legendary and English. I don't care! I'm gonna beat you down with my MTV Movie Award!”

WILL
“MARK WAHLBERG, uh, I won't mess with you. You actually are kind of a bad ass. Once again, I hope we're cool and you are very talented.”

JACK
“And HELEN MIRREN, you're just hot. What party are you going to?”

Suddenly, John C. Reilly stands up at his seat

JOHN
“Fellas, fellas!”

WILL & JACK
John C. Reilly!!

JOHN
THIS MADNESS MUST STOP
THERE IS NO NEED TO FEAR
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO
JUST LOOK AT MY CAREER!
(to Will) I DIDN'T CRY THE BLUES
(To Jack) I DIDN'T PICK SILLY FIGHTS
I CHOSE TO BE IN BOTH "BOOGIE"
AND"TALLADEGA NIGHTS"!

John hits a big high note and bounds towards the stage

JOHN (cont’d)
AA-AAHHH!!!
DON’T JUST BE CLOWNS
CAUSE THEN YOU’RE JUST BORES
MIX IT UP
AND OSCAR SHALL BE YOURS!!!!

JACK
“He's right! I'm going to re-read that script about the guy who gets lead poisoning and tries to sue a major corporation! There's not a laugh in there!”

WILL
“And I'm going to take that project about the guy with no arms or legs who teaches gangbangers Hamlet!”

JOHN
"Now you're talking!"

WILL
I'M GOING TO LOSE FORTY POUNDS
TO PLAY RALPH NADER!!!

JACK
I'M GOING TO DO THAT GAY COAL MINER FILM
WITH JAMES SPADER!!!

WILL
“I love him!”

ALL
SO ANTHONY HOPKINS YOU CAN LAUGH
BUT SOMEDAY SOON, YOU'LL SEE
HELEN MIRREN AND AN OSCAR
WILL BE COMING HOME WITH ME!
WITH ME!!
HELEN MIRREN WILL BE COMING HOME WITH ME!!!!

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จู่ๆ Jack Black ก็โผล่มา

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แล้วทั้งสองคนก็เริ่มกัดนักแสดงคนอื่นๆ ที่ได้เข้าชิงทันทีคนแรกที่โดนคือ หนุ่มหล่อ Leonardo DiCaprio ที่ควงคุณแม่มาร่วมงาน

JACK
“Forget it! Leo, you think you can date hot models and win awards? Well I’m gonna elbow you in the larynx.”

เหยื่อรายต่อไปคือ Ryann Gossling

WILL
“RYANN GOSSLING you're all hip and now well I’m gonna break your hip right now!”

นักแสดงอาวุโสก็ไม่มีละเว้น

JACK
“PETER O'TOOLE, all legendary and English. I don't care! I'm gonna beat you down with my MTV Movie Award!”

แต่กลับ Mark Wahlberg วิลล์ไม่กล้าแหยม

WILL
“MARK WAHLBERG, uh, I won't mess with you. You actually are kind of a bad ass. Once again, I hope we're cool and you are very talented.”

The Queen strikes back!!

JACK
“And HELEN MIRREN, you're just hot. What party are you going to?”

แล้วจู่ๆ John C. Reilly ก็โผล่มาท่ามกลางคนดู

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เกิดศึกชิงนางเอก

HELEN MIRREN AND AN OSCAR
WILL BE COMING HOME WITH ME!
WITH ME!!
HELEN MIRREN WILL BE COMING HOME WITH ME!!!

ท่าจบเท่ห์ๆ

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To be continued...

Create Date : 15 มีนาคม 2550

Last Update : 17 พฤศจิกายน 2550 23:12:08 น.

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