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Lying - another rant....

Why do some people here find it so difficult to be honest ?

... I've pondered over this question a lot over the past 2 1/2 years as I seem to get lied to a lot. A couple of times, I've asked Thai friends why they or other people have lied to me. Whenever I'm stupid enough to ask someone this kind of thing (not a good subject to talk about as it seems to embarrass the hell out of people), the answer is something along the lines of 'อย่าคิดมาก' (don't think too much.) It's almost as if the problem goes away when you stop wasting your time thinking about it.

It's normally easy to let small lies (the extra 10 baht on the laudry bill or bike taxi fares or you friend telling you he's on his way, when you know he's got no intention of showing up for another hour or two...) go, but sometimes, when its people you like and trust that lie to you, its not so easy.

Take one Thai guy I know. I think he's met a new gf, but, since he's very quiet and a bit shy, its kind of awkward to ask him about it. His MSN message says that he has, and earlier today he announced that he was off out for the day tomorrow, all on his own. 'Really?' I asked, thinking that it was odd that he would want to go somewhere touristy alone.

I go travelling on my own a lot. It's a good way to meet people, and stops you getting too sucked into hanging out on Khao San, drinking too much and pretending that you are still a young, trendy, backpacker, even though you're starting to get grey hairs and are rapidly approaching your mid-30's...

But, most Thai people I know think its odd that I like to go out on my own, and tell me that it must be 'ไม่สนุก' (not much fun.) I've never, ever heard any of my Thai friends say that they want to go anywhere alone. Normally they hang out in groups, with their family or with friends from school, uni. or work.

So, when this guy says he wants to go upcountry, alone, I start thinking 'no way... Its sooooo not like him.' Then I see his MSN message, in Thai. 2 things make me read it...

1. I'm pretty nosey

2. I'm trying to learn to read Thai. I normally try and read anything and everything I see in Thai. Signs on buses, error messages and pop ups on Thai webpages, the memos and timetable changes they put on the notice board at school. As soon as I see anything with Thai looking symbols on, I try to figure out whether its something I can read, and play games with myself as to how many words or characters I can pick out, and how quickly I can read it.

Anyway, this guy writes that he's going on his own. His MSN message says he's going with 'her.' I ask whether he's really going on his own. 'yes' he says. I know I should let it go. 'Really' I said. 'Errrmmm Yes.' he says. I know he's lying, but what can I say ??? Challenge him, and annoy him ??? or just ignore it ???

I should feel really pleased for him. He's a really nice guy. Bright, fun to talk to, and very kind. He really deserves to meet someone nice who he likes. But, I don't I feel happy for him at all. OK, I'm glad that he's finally met someone he likes (and has not, for once, been too shy to talk to them...) but now I feel really disappointed that he can't be honest with me, and angry that he thinks that I'm so dumb as to believe his lies.

Like I said before, I (and I think most other foreigners here) get lied to a lot. I'm not sure what I hate most. The lies themselves, or the fact that the people that come out with them, expect me to act like I'm stupid enough to believe them.


Create Date : 08 สิงหาคม 2550
Last Update : 9 สิงหาคม 2550 1:06:20 น. 0 comments
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kerrie
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