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18 เมษายน 2550
 
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Personal Responsibility

mmmm... time for another moan methinks...
One thing I hate about some of the Thai people I live with is that the seem incapable of taking responsibility for anything - everything is always someone elses fault.... Oh, and should you be stupid enough to point this out to them, they show their maturity by going into a huuuuge sulk with you... and refusing to talk to you...

In this case the sulk's already lasted 3 days (long enough for me to want to moan about it) ... and it looks like its gonna go on... and on... and on... Take 1 guy who lives in my building... I'll call him A... He's quite a smart guy, has almost finished his masters degree and is hoping to get a scholarship to sudy in the states. Last week he asked me to edit his english. He's putting a conference paper together, has a deadline of midnight on Saturday, isn't that great at writing formal academic English and really needs help. He says hi on Wednesday and asks whether I can help him on Friday afternoon. I point out that its Songkran, and I was planning to go to Sanam Luang to put some water on the buddah and then to Khao San to watch the water fights. He sounds a bit peeved, so I offer to help around 3pm on Friday. Sure he says...
Friday comes along... I go to see my old neighbour and go to Khao San with an American girl who lives in the same building as me. She's heading up to Chiang Mai that evening and wants to be back around 2... Perfect, I think.. 3 o 'clock comes around... No A. 3.30... still no A. I call him.. No reply.. I text him. No reply... I call again... Still no reply... A french girl who lives in my building said she planned to go to Khao San around 5.30. I said I'd go with her... At 20 to 5 A shows up and asks me to help him. I say that I can't as I'm about to go to Khao San. He whines that I should help him like I originally I promised, calls me selfish, and says I have all weekend to go to Khao San wheras he has a deadline of midnight on Saturday... I pointed out that I promised to help him at 3 o clock but that it was now 5 in the afternoon.... I also said that I'd called him twice and texted him too but he didn't reply... "But, its not my fault I'm late" he said. "The bus was late... and then it was really slow' as there were lots of traffic jams as lots of the roads were closed." I told him that it was Songkran... and that he was Thai... He'd lived in Bangkok for years and that he knew that this happens every
year... that every year the traffic is pretty chaotic... I also said that if his conference paper was really that important to him, he would have made sure that he left his friends house early, so that he could have got home in time to finish it... I hadn't wanted to come back home either... I'd wanted to stay out as Khao San was good fun and I was also hoping to say hi to the guys and gals from my old work and join in their water fight. However, I left around 2 as I didnt want to break my promise, and I couldn't understand why he hadn't left early too...
He went into a huge sulk. He called me really selfish' and said I didn't want to help him. I pointed out that he didn't want to help himself as, if he really cared about his work, and if it was really as important as he insisted, then he would have come home in time to do it. He lauched into another tirade about Bangkok buses and us drivers and traffic. I just said "A, its not the bus drivers fault that you were late... Its YOURS."

Anyway, B (the French girl) and I walked off. We went to Khao San as planned and had a great time...coming back very drunk and very, very wet. We saw A in the building and, in my drunken stupidity I agreed to help him on Saturday afternoon.

Saturday afternoon came around and A gives me his paper to read. I make a few corrections and give it back to him. I leave him to make the changes and spend an hour or so in my room. I come back downstairs to see how he's getting on. He's not there. I ask the guy who sells coffee in our building when A disappeared... "Oh just after you left" he says. I figure the guy has done sweet F A since I went upstairs. 1/2 an hour later he shows up.. He's not made the changes. I tell him that he can't expect me to spend my whole day waiting around for him to show up and make the changes... Again I'm told I'm selfish and that I don't want to help him. No one wants to help him, he says... He gives me enough of a guilt trip to sit with him and help him for a couple of hours. A few hours later, the same thing's happened twice over. Its 9 at night. The paper's still unfinished... mainly because he can't be arsed to do his part of the work and keeps disapearing to take or make calls to/from his friends, members of his family etc... all, judging by his behaviour, much more important than his work or the midnight deadline .... Oh, and theres even more excuses as to why its still not done... This time it's his professor's fault. His professor should have helped him correct the paper. No one helps him, neither his professor, or me.... This time I just walk away... The guy really can't accept that its HIS WORK and, as such its HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO DO IT.... The only person that is to blame if its not done on time is HIM... not the people throwing water at the bus and slowing it down, not his professor, not me for refusing to help him when he was too lazy to accept the help that he did get from me... It's HIS FAULT that he didn't finish it on time...

I went to eat with my friends. Maybe he worked on his paper, maybe not... I don't know. I don't really care... The guy hasn't talked to me since, and its been 3 days.. and counting... The thing I find strange is his behaviour. He sulks like a moody teenager at home, comes up and says hi to my friends but ignores me when I say hi to him... Now, if this was one of the kids from my P4 class at school it would be normal, BUT this guy is in his mid twenties.... gets told that he is in the wrong and behaves like he is 12.

What I find hardest to believe about this guys's behaviour is that this guy wants to study in the states. OK, we brits make fun of americans for being dumb, but dumb or not, I'm sure americans expect people to take responsibility for their actions too.... and this guy will have a hard time keeping the friends he makes if he responds to personal critisicm in such an immature way...

So, back to my story.. So how was my Songkran... Aside from the guilt trips about not being on call 24-7 to help this guy with his work, it was pretty cool. Thats the other annoying thing about this story.. It was Songkran - a THAI holiday... We don't have it back home. It'll probably be the last one that I see here and I really wanted to go out and have fun. I didn't want to spend my holiday sat around waiting for this guy to turn up or to finish his work... For foreigners, Songkran is amazing experience... crazy, wet, and fun, fun, fun...Most people have never seen the likes of the waterfights on Khao San, or had people running up to them splashing sticky mud like goo on their faces and shouting happy new year and, when they go back home, they will probably never get the chance to see it again... So am I really that selfish for wanting to do these things, rather than waiting around for my (presumably) unselfish friend to turn up... ???? I'm not sure. Most of my friends who've listened to me moan about this have said that he is the selfish one, not me...

Anwyay, I've decided. Its obvious that these people don't value my free time as much as I do.... So, next time, no more freebies... I've never ever, ever taken money from people where I live when they've asked for help with their English, and I don't really want to... OK I could do with the money, but normally its fun to help them, sometimes they write interesting stuff... I've helped edit this guys work a few times, and like to go for food with him, when he wants to practise his English... But maybe some people are just really ungrateful... Maybe the more you help them, the more they expect you to help them, and the more demanding they become.... Maybe some people are soooo dumb that they only value your time if you charge them for it.... Sooo, next time he asks tt'll be 500 baht an hour (whether he turns up on time or not... ), thats if I'm stupid enough for there to be a next time.


Create Date : 18 เมษายน 2550
Last Update : 18 เมษายน 2550 12:46:44 น. 0 comments
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kerrie
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