I like Tom Hanks.... If you are Harrison Ford's fans, please don't get upset at me. I like him too, but his roles in many of his movies are not as memorable as Hanks'.... Sorry about that...
Yes, this is my professional life's blog... You're in the right blog... I'm not out of my mind, I can tell you that...
So, let's start then....
In Apollo 13, when the whole crews realized that the mission to the moon was now doomed and would never accomplish what they would like to do, the spacecraft were revolving and passing close to the moon. Hanks looked over the place they planned to land through a tiny circular window in his space-craft... That look was showing disappointment and bitterness in the mission that he dreamed for for the entire life... He might have thought he came this close... this close but he just simply couldn't finish it....
True insight upon circumstances will not achieve if one has never come close to it-- I believe.... I just watched the scene, and it had passed and forgotten in my fading memory.
Some years later, I almost went to the moon.... No, no, no---Just kidding.... Actually, I got an e-mail from a co-worker in Thailand telling me that a governmental organization would like to financially support us because of our achievement in my previous research works... and, it would be a non-competing funding at a budget of 200M Thai Baht....
On that morning, I woke up early as usual. It was around 4:30AM, and I always checked and replied my e-mails before getting dressed and going to work around 5:15AM.
That e-mail fully awoke me... and I had to re-read it and counted the zeroes in the number to make sure that it was what is was.... and I counted at least 3 times and all of those came out to be the same number--- 200M Thai Baht....
So, I read the e-mail very carefully about what were they wanting me to do... It said;"We would like you (me) to write a proposal of building a new facility for the research."
To make sure that I understood everything correctly, I made a call back to the faculty first thing in the morning (Thailand's morning). I found out that I had a few weeks to gather everything together and write it up into a proposal....
This was a life-time chance of being a scientist--- of having a lab of his own to do research that he loves.... I quited doing everything for that even my PhD research work.... Only writing, writing and writing that proposal with my wife.... for the entire good three weeks...
After we finished it, we submitted it to our faculty and let them process it after that....
Nothing came back until I got sick and had to fly back to Thailand to get everything fixed.... In that painful time, I had a chance to ask my dean about that vanishing proposal... He said; "There was something going on in the organization, they had never gotten back to us."
I knew it by heart that if we were granted, we could do something, something significant to the country in general... But, at the moment, it was un-materialized and immediately vaporized... We came up this close, this close to the point where we could do something different...
I ponder back to Hanks who was standing by the window and looking down to the moon where he would like to set foot on.... I truly understand what it feels like; very deeply....
At least, in Hanks' mind, he might have further pondered that they were still alive and that was enough to move on.... That's what more significant, isn't it?
Life is a drama just like a movie....People will understand and appreciate it or not depending on what has underlined his/her life.
For me, I understand what it's going to be like beside that window.
It sure did sound exciting Khun AT. That'll get you a lot of instruments, equipments, manpower, etc.
However, I wouldn't be too comfortable with that "non-competing" basis. It is my personal belief that for science to prosper, best ideas/approaches must come from fair selection of a qualified pool of scientists.
Another thing, when you said, this was a life-time chance of being a scientist ..., I'm not too sure what you mean. My apology if I misunderstood. To me, it is not a chance to have your own lab. It's almost an obligation (to which scientists should be willing to be committed), especially for those who are in academia.
To depict a clearer picture, I should describe how we did our experiment in the first place na krub...
Firstly, I started my first in vivo experiment with 20,000 baht (app. 500USD). I did an experiment in 12 healthy volunteers... All of them came there for free (actually paid but minimally) to support their fellow students who were in charge in the small project.
From that small start, we proceeded to a reputable site in the country where that organization were facilitating some helps... (I would like to acknowledge that also.) We produced around 10 papers from contract research coming in during my 2-years service before leaving to the US.
Because of tremendous needs in this research, the organization approached 3-4 sites (our site included) offering financial support to increase our productivity....
So, from 20,000 baht to 200M Baht, it was a big step... right? Like moving from a cottage right up to a mansion in a night!!!
Anyway we started from that financially struggling point, and I still remember those students who were helping me with their full efforts... For me, it's much bigger push to my pride and dignity than that 200M Baht....and I feel grateful with that...
Regards, A.T. P.S. Apology is absolutely not essential krub... this is a place we can share our experiences and thoughts. Our readers will learn something more or less...
Your life is interesting and exiting... I DO envy you krub...
โดย: dont wanna no วันที่: 11 มีนาคม 2549 เวลา:15:36:22 น.
Hello again Khun AT,
By no mean and with all due respect, I wasnt saying that your research did not deserve the grant of 200 million Thai Baht. It may or it may not. I simply dont know since I dont think I could pretend to be an expert in your field.
But Id like to make it clear that its just my personal point of view that every funding given to research proposals should only be made selectively through a fair and vigorous review of their scientific merits (out of a pool of proposals submitted).
Just as you have described, however, I realize that my point of view might not be practiced in all scientific communities. It only seems to me that in your case, the potential grant money was set aside for two reasons. One, there arent many scientists who do research in this particular area. Two, as you pointed out, there is so much need for this kind of research; thus, the field can attract quite a bit of financial support from the government or whomever. But whether the need is a real need and whether so much money should be allocated are totally different topics of discussion, which deserve some attention on their own right at another time, maybe.
And Im not sure if I understand when you said this, Although, there will be commitment about what I must do upon the contract (or funding obligations).
But, in my research, it can be widely applied to others...
So, it depends on how I would handle and steer the wind krub.
I would agree that all scientists in academia who are PIs are in charge of addressing issues they deem important in their scientific opinions. Thus, it only makes sense that they can handle and direct their research whichever way they want. This is also know as academic freedom, which to me is very important and appealing compared to a different kind of working environment that colleagues in industry or federal labs may experience.
If what you said refers to my previous post about if its ones chance or obligation in doing research (therefore having ones own labs), I merely mean that as a research scientist, one is obligated to do research (with love and determination hopefully). I just wanted to make a point (this may be off topic a little) that sometimes some scientists, especially in a research culture we see in Thailand, unfortunately use an excuse of not having enough resources so that they can get away without doing research. To me, it is no excuse for a (Ph.D.) scientist at a university to abandon their obligation to a scientific community by not making a research contribution. I have a strong opinion on this one because regardless of what I saw before in the Thai scientific community, I have some good examples, at least from my mentor in college. What I learned is if determined, one can still do as much research as he/she can. Of course, many things would be limited by not having enough, but determination and intellect are the most precious things any scientist can have, as my undergraduate mentor has demonstrated to me.
I totally agree in freedom in research issue and I understand more and more when I spend more time in the US.
This is not an excuse na krub... It's an explanation.
I started my career as a university instructor few weeks before the IMF crisis... During that time, our faculty had zero-baht budget for several years.... This situation was the same in many organizations (grant-funding agencies included).
In that time, everywhere was arctically frozen in its research activities because of the crisis.
In that time, I had a hard time in doing research... My feeling was like a diver in deep ocean with ideas and expressions but I just couldn't do that....
So, to do something to entertain my mind, seeking grant from industrial sectors was more promising.... Even though the sector itself was severely struck by the crisis.... But, by laws, the industry needed some tests to make its products passing registration processes....
With my expertise in that particular field (which I considered it as "lucky", I jumped in).... and, with financial supports from the industry, we've prospered. Although the freedom was limited... but we've thrived krub...
At the day the crisis striked, we had minimal money in our pocket... After this initiative, we started to be capable in affording new instruments, more manpower and so on....
In the US, funding is far more abundant than it is in Thailand... That's an obvious fact.... Freedom in science can be widely addressed.... I can imagine that if the US funding is shrinking what will happen to American researchers as well...
Different settings may cause same individual reacting to situations differently krub... I've seen and been there at both sides... So that's why I would like to share them to all of you...
Living on land in a diving suit is quite unconfortable krub--- having ideas and determination but couldn't do a thing.... Life as such is quite painful krub... Struggling is a natural approach to seek "freedom" in a way.
In real life, Jim Lovell made it back to walk on the Moon twice!!!
Yesterday, you looked out of the window from the inside . Today you are stepping through the door reaching your dream. Tomorrow, you will be out there, achieving what you have long dreamed for.
================================= Note: My life has been intertwined with works and many others. New responsibility has emerged, resulting less and less time for my ordinary life. Although, a love to write is still intact... But having less time is related to having less imagination.... Therefore, I could not come up with new writings for quite some times.
It might be a good time for me to leave this forum for moment.... Please take it as Mr. A.T. is having a sabbactatical leave or something like that....
As noted above, my love to write is still the same... and will not be changed. Sometimes somehow, I hope I could come back and give some thoughts in this blog once more.
Cheers, Mr. A.T. June 6th, 2008
=================================
Hello,
My pen-name in Pantip is amatuer translator. Actually, I'm a lousy translator with lame translation. My pen-name is somewhat misleading, I have no background in linguistics what-so-ever. Anyway I love to read, write and communicate with people...
Reading is my most favorite hobby. I read everything from shopping bags to articles in theoretical physics. I do research and teaching for my living. So, reading, writing, thinking and doing research works are my everyday routine.
I would like to define myself as a person who is accepting new ideas and adopting those into my way of life.
I believe in power of knowledge/education. I think every society can be a better society with knowledge. Ignorance can be dispelled by it. Humanity can live sustainably and harmoniously with each other along with its biosphere with understandings in the nature surrounding it.
Apart from my philosophical thoughts reflecting who I am, I can tell you something I like or love in particular;
I love dogs.... Particularly, labradore retrievers.... One day, I would like to spend my time and life with them as a big part of my family.
Zhuge Liang is my hero. With his wisdom and faithfulness, he led a tiny army to a mighty and formidable kingdom. He left his humble residence with a hope to come back. But, sadly, he had never returned and died far far away from home in a horse carriage in a battle field. If I could choose where I would, I would say where-ever my lovely wife was nearby.
I value happiness and my family as my first priority. My profession and my philosophy come in the second. Pursuit in wealth has never been in my desire.
I'm glad to be your friend, and look forward to seeing you around krub.
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