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Snow White and Pinocchio

Why was Snow White arrested at DisneyLand?

Because she was caught sitting on Pinocchio's face saying,
'Lie Bastard....Lie!'




 

Create Date : 25 ตุลาคม 2548    
Last Update : 25 ตุลาคม 2548 15:21:29 น.
Counter : 121 Pageviews.  

Little Mary

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.




 

Create Date : 21 ตุลาคม 2548    
Last Update : 21 ตุลาคม 2548 10:16:25 น.
Counter : 121 Pageviews.  

Little Johny and the family

Just as mom walks though the door, little Johnny comes running over.
He says 'Mommy, Mommy. I was playing in daddy's closet and he came in with the lady next door and they started kissing and then they took off each others clothes and laid down on the bed...'
The mother interrupts him. 'Stop right there!! Wait 'till daddy comes home!! '
When the father finally returns from work, mother promptly goes up to him and says 'I'm leaving you.'
The father, bewildered, slowly asks 'Why!?! What did I do?? '
Mother turn to Johnny and says 'Tell daddy exactly what you told me today!'
'I was playing in daddy's closet and he came in with the lady next door and they started kissing and then they took each other's clothes off and laid down on the bed...just like what you and Uncle Joe did last summer.'




 

Create Date : 20 ตุลาคม 2548    
Last Update : 20 ตุลาคม 2548 9:08:39 น.
Counter : 131 Pageviews.  

Little Johny

Little Johnny is sitting in his math class when his good looking female teacher asks him,
'If three birds are sitting on a telephone wire, and a hunter comes along and shoots one of the birds, how many birds are left?'
Johnny answers, 'None.'
The teacher says, 'No Johnny, that's wrong. If there are three birds, and the hunter shoots one, how many are left?'
'None.'
'No Johnny, that's wrong! How do you figure?'
Johnny explains, 'When the hunter shoots his gun, the birds fly away, so there are none left.'
'Oh, I see. Well that's not the answer that I was looking for, but I like the way you're thinking;'
she says.
Johnny starts in, 'Well, ok then. I have a question for you. Three women are sitting on a curb eating Popsicles. The first one is licking her Popsicle, the second is sucking her Popsicle, and the third is biting her Popsicle. Which one of the women is married?'
The teacher stammers, 'Well, let me see. I guess the one who is sucking her popsicle?'
'No, actually its the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you're thinking.'




 

Create Date : 19 ตุลาคม 2548    
Last Update : 19 ตุลาคม 2548 12:00:28 น.
Counter : 150 Pageviews.  

Blonde on plane

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving.'

Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section.

Again, the blonde replied, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving.'

The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do.

The captain said, 'I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.' He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, 'Why didn't anyone just say so.'

Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat.

The pilot replied, 'I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York.'




 

Create Date : 18 ตุลาคม 2548    
Last Update : 19 ตุลาคม 2548 11:49:08 น.
Counter : 121 Pageviews.  


ong14
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