I dont understand why i have to be sad since i am the one who choose to leave this shitty relationship. The relationship that never exist and never meant anything! It has been nearly a month since i left Sydney and it has been nearly 3 weeks since her arriving. Eventhough everyone think i am so brave and act so calm but no one realise that inside my heart actually it is burning! I know that no matter how much i feel no matter how good I am. It will never be good enough for you. Sometimes I want to call you and message you but I couldn't becuz I am scared of losing my pride and face....... I know it sounds silly... but I cant help it! Every godamn day that I never online becuz I have been working hard like hell. I want to work I want to succeed and most important thing I dont want to think of you. It is hurting me everytime when i thinking of you. I dont know how long this would be I wish that i can recover soon..... I wish we can be together... I just wish and wish and wish............... Hopefully everytime that i pray god will see and help me..... Hope you will be with me when I get back to Sydney...