1. You get to change your name as often as you wish 2. The garbage is all theirs 3. On your wedding day you are the sole attraction, no matter how many people you invite 4. There is chocolate and creme brulee 5. They can be President, but look how stupid most are! 6. Being pregnant means an entirely new wardrobe and all the stuff you can't eat when you are thin. 7. If you wear any color of t-shirt to a water park, you will not want for male attention 8. If you wear a thong to the local lake, you will make friends 9. You can usually get your male neighbour to fix your car for free 10. You can tour the country side if you tell your male driver that the bathroom was icky.
11. You can find a man to turn the nut anytime. 12. They work, your money! 13. We never have the skin of the lizard 14. Wedding dresses are a one time wear only, no matter how much they cost, and they make you feel like royalty. 15. Push-up bras 16. A discrete yawn says volumes. 17. If the new shoes cause blisters it is time to go get more!!! 18. Life is never boring. 19. The phone is women's contribution towards economic growth. 20. You know stuff about flowers, decoration, food, and men. Well, men is simple. I shouldn't have added that.
21. A five-day vacation means new manicure, pedicure, shoes, wardrobe, jewelry, and usually more of the same from the resorts! 22. You never have to open a jar. 23. You can blame it on pms even after the change. 24. You receive actual invitations and a group of half washed friends don't show up on your doorstep expecting to be entertained. 25. You can wear lace next to your body for all the right reasons. 26. The less shoes he has the more room there is for yours. 27. Straps are sexy. 28. Wrinkles in clothing mean you get to change your mood! 29. Make-up, to be all that you can be whenever you want to be that person. 30. Hair dresser = pampered
31. You don't have hair on your back and butt. 32. Your toys cost more and you can wear them. 33. Well, bellies are a problem, but behinds and boobs make up for all sins. 34. Multiple choices with every outfit 35. You can wear dresses which are much cooler than Bermuda shorts. 36. You can have manicures 37. You can buy lipstick and wear it! 38. Christmas is the season you get to decorate and shop! 39. And finally, best of all, men have one but women can have many!!
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
1. Your last name stays put. 2. The garage is all yours. 3. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 4. Chocolate is just another snack. 5. You can be President. 6. You can never be pregnant. 7. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 8. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. 9. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 10. The world is your urinal.
11. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. 12. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 13. Same work, more pay. 14. Wrinkles add character. 15. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. 16. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. 17. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 18. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 19. One mood all the time. 20. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
21. You know stuff about tanks. 22. A five-day vacation requiresonly one suitcase. 23. You can open all your own jars. 24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 25. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. 26. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. 27. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 28. You almost never have strap problems in public. 29. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. 30. Everything on your face stays its original color.
31. The same hairstyle lasts for years .... maybe decades. 32. You only have to shave your face and neck. 33. You can play with toys all your life. 34. Your belly usually hides your big hips. 35. One wallet and one pairof shoes -- one color for all seasons. 36. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. 37. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. 38. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 39. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
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